The Thing (1982)
July was a month jam packed with me watching John Carpenter films I’d never seen before. It’s no secret he directed my most beloved horror classic of all time, Halloween (1978), but up until recently, that had been the only film I’d seen of Carpenter’s filmography. In late 2020, I took the plunge, and finally watched Halloween III, which he both produced and composed the musical score for. Last year, I watched The Fog (1980), The Thing (1982), Christine (1983), and They Live (1988). Thanks to Shudder, I was able to add a few more to my watchlist this year: Escape from New York (1981), Prince of Darkness (1987), In the Mouth of Madness (1994), Vampires (1998), and Ghosts of Mars (2001). However, out of all the Carpenter films I’ve seen during the month, it was my rewatch of The Thing that struck me. I primitively rated The Thing 4-stars upon my initial viewing of this remake to the 1951 original, but after watching this a second time around, I realized what a masterpiece this film was. Truly one of the best creature features in horror cinema, and I wish I’d seen it sooner!
Thor: Love and Thunder (2022)
I don’t know why the MCU is going backwards with Thor. I thought Marvel was really making progress with both Ragnarok and Infinity War in showcasing Thor’s power and prominence in the MCU. The overly comedic tone of this movie completely overshadowed any significant event within the film. It was so unbearable and forced at times that it made me cringe. Ragnoark was able to add an underlying comedic tone to it, while still being serious when it needed to be. Why has Thor become such a joke? It’s as if they are forcing Hemsworth to portray a parody of the God of Thunder.
It’s quite infuriating how you can barely see any dark elements in the MCU without writers having to sprinkle in dumb bullshit to break the tension. I mean, Jane Foster, the love of his life, was DYING of cancer for fuck’s sake. The significance and the weight of her impending death seemed so lost among the awful comedic nonsense. Most of the jokes didn’t even land. Even the utilization of Gorr the God Butcher was lacking in this film. I loved Christian Bale’s portrayal in the film, but I felt like he was barely seen throughout the movie, as if he was a mere afterthought for the majority of the film. All of the interesting dark subject matters of the film were completely overshadowed by poor humor. Overall, I was disappointed. I will say one positive factor of this film was Natalie Portman’s portrayal of Lady Thor. She looked great, and I really enjoyed her role in this film. Other than that, I’m really over Marvel’s shit.
Scream (2022)
“You know, it's like scary, but with complex emotional and thematic underpinnings. It's not just some schlocky, cheeseball nonsense with wall to wall jump scares.”
“That sounds kind of boring to me.”
I’m not a Scream stan by any means, so this film was decent with a few downsides. My first complaint is that the killers of this installment were blatantly obvious from very early in the film. I don’t know if this was done on purpose, but I’m not sure why the creators of this film would want that type of predictability. Secondly, the meta in this film was too much. I know, it’s been a staple in the Scream franchise, but they were really beating a dead horse here. Thirdly, Ghostface is still such a bland killer to me. I did not see the brutality that other people have mentioned. I’m wondering if these people have seen other slashers in their lives because Ghostface’s kills are stale in comparison. On the positive side, I really enjoyed David Arquette’s return as Dewey. I appreciated how invested he got me into his character throughout the film. He really cared about this performance and gave his all. I can’t really say the same for the rest of the legacy characters. Sidney Prescott and Gale Weathers really didn’t add any value to this film.
Nope (2022)
I respect Jordan Peele for delivering fresh storylines to the horror genre that I haven’t witnessed yet. I’m so sick of the same old themes in horror films nowadays that I’m always craving something unique. This film stuck with me for days after I had watched it, pondering what certain things meant. There were terrifying scenes that occurred throughout the film that really disturbed me and made me uncomfortable. When horror films resonate with me to this degree, it further emphasizes my love for this genre. I don’t think it’s fair to compare Nope to Peele’s other films, Get Out and Us. It really should stand on its own. They’re all intriguing entries to the horror world, and Nope deserves recognition for what it is.
Dashcam (2021)
Despite it being a found footage feature, I wanted to watch this film because everyone seemed to be talking about it online. Within the first five minutes of the movie, I sadly realized why. The lead character, Annie Hardy, is a MAGA loving comedian who live streams from her car raps that she conjures up from the viewer’s comments. Her being a right-wing conspiracy freak isn’t what makes her character so insufferable though. She’s a horrible freestyler with vulgar humor that is reminiscent of a 15-year old boy playing Call of Duty on Xbox live.
Despite the ongoing pandemic, Annie flies out to London from LA, where she is somehow allowed to enter the country unvaccinated. Once in the country, she manages to ruin her former bandmate’s life with the horrific events that follow. She’s so obnoxious in the movie that you’re hoping she dies, but just like a cockroach, she survives every obstacle thrown in her way.
Annie’s crackhead energy was so jarring that it completely took me out of the film. I could hardly pay attention to the horror occurring in the background. I mean, this bitch was still screaming about liberals while almost getting murdered. It is pretty on brand for Republicans, but when a supernatural being is trying to kill you, the last thing on my mind would be conservative or liberal propaganda I decided to infect myself with. What’s worse is that Annie Hardy is a real person with these actual beliefs. Why Rob Savage decided to make such an unwatchable horror film after the success of Host is beyond me…
Unfavorable Mentions:
Umma (2022) - This film finally made it to Netflix, but to my dismay, it was such a disappointment.
TV Shows/Documentaries
Stranger Things (2022)
Um, excuse me? This season was PHENOMENAL. I’m honestly so sad it’s over. Season 4 really pulled out the stops in regards to its horror elements. This season’s villain, Venca, looks terrifying, and I love it. I also enjoyed Robert Englund’s cameo (Freddy Krueger for you losers who don’t know) along with the dream-like sequences between Nancy and Vecna that seemed to be a homage to Nightmare on Elm Street.
Also, shout out to the inclusion of Eddie Munson. I LOVED his character. The scene where everyone is chaotically looking through the cassette tapes in his bedroom, screaming for actual music, and Eddie holds up an Iron Maiden tape while screaming, “THIS IS MUSIC!!!” - every metalhead felt that in the core of their being. The 80’s were a big deal for metal, and it is awesome to see them involve Metallica for this season. Everyone knows Enter the Sandman, but civilians outside of the metal community don’t really know about Master of Puppets. It's ironic because I went through a Metallica kick in 2020, and listened to Puppets nonstop during the shutdown. I’m happy to see metalhead representation in popular shows like The Stranger Things.
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