2020

2020 was a tough year for a lot of us. It’s a feat in itself to have actually survived last year. So instead of focusing on the goals that I may or may have not accomplished during to 2020, I want to focus on what I’m proud of and what I am truly thankful for this last year. 

I am proud of myself for getting out of a relationship I felt stuck in. It’s hard when you have to come to the realization that there are loved ones in your life who are, in fact, very toxic to your mental well being and only take advantage of you rather than help you grow as a person. Sometimes, it’s just simply not meant to be and you are clearly on two different paths. I won’t force anyone to change when they are unwilling to, but I don’t have to stick around for the ride. 

I’m also proud of myself for focusing less on what the number on the scale is and accepting my body type. I’ve never been super skinny. I’ve always had thick thighs and a bigger butt. Nonetheless, this is the body that I have. I should stop criticizing it for what it isn’t, and appreciate it for what it is. I remember in my twenties, I was hellbent that I needed breast implants. Now, in my thirties, I wonder what the hell was wrong with me. I stopped (for the most part) wearing padded bras, and started wearing demi bras. Ironically, it could also be from having extra pounds on me that I’ve finally embraced my bra size. It’s extremely difficult, but I’ve also learned that you have to disassociate yourself from the way others view their own bodies, especially when you’re on social media practically every day. I’ve come to realize that just because other people aren’t happy with their own bodies doesn’t mean that you necessarily have to be unhappy with your body too based upon another person’s perceived standards of beauty. I know I’m not perfect, but I am a work in progress and I will get to where I ultimately feel comfortable being. Until then, I am going to stop being so hard on myself and accept that I’m not the perfect skinny bitch.

I am most thankful for my health this year. I was lucky enough to have avoided contracting COVID all year. I am also thankful that my friends and family are healthy and safe, especially those who are essential workers and risk their safety being on the frontlines. 

I’m thankful to be in love again. I am truly excited to start this new chapter in my life with someone who truly loves and cares for me. I’ve never been with someone who makes me feel so appreciated and special. 

I am thankful for the time I’ve been able to share with my family, friends and boyfriend. I’ve been able to spend a lot of time with my best friends and go on many outings with them last year, which really helped me feel less alone during my breakup this year. Being with loved ones truly does heal you. It’s the little things in life that mean the world to me. 

I’m thankful to have gone to Disney World twice. Despite COVID travel restrictions, I’ve still been able to at least see Disney twice. Also, I loved experiencing Halloween in Disney again with Chinh. I’m so happy that we got to do our Nightmare Before Christmas Disneybounds together, and that I could finally cross Jack Skellington off my bucket list. I can’t wait for more vacations and Disneybounds together in the future. 

I am thankful I still have a job, and being blessed with a situation where I can work from home for a company that is essential during this pandemic. I know many people have to worry about their financial and living situations, and so I am beyond grateful to have food, money and a roof over my head. This pandemic has actually benefited me in terms of saving money, which sometimes makes me feel guilty for the hardships that others are facing.

I’m thankful for all the things I’ve experienced in life thus far. Being in lockdown during this pandemic has really made me appreciate the blessed life I have. All the Disney trips I’ve been able to experience these past few years. The Oogie Boogie Bash in DCA. Mickey’s Not So Scary Halloween Party. Christmas in Disney World. Galaxy’s Edge. Toy Story Land. Animal Kingdom. Breakfast with Stitch. Elvis Stitch! Potter Land in Universal Studios. Halloween Horror Nights. Killer Klowns from Outer Space, House of 1000 Corpses, Michael Myers - all mazes I got to experience. Pennhurst Asylum. Eastern State Penitentiary. Haunted mazes. Pumpkin patches. Tulips. Sunflowers. Lavender fields. Gardens. 6 ballets in NYC. NYCC. Concerts with my favorite bands. Marvel exhibit in Philly. Rosé Mansion. Museum of Ice Cream. I Like Scary Movies. The list goes on and on. I’m beyond eager to continue my list of adventures, I’m just hoping the world doesn’t end by then. 

I’m not going to establish new goals just yet. 2021 is like stepping into a dark, spooky haunted house... I’m not yet sure what’s lurking in the shadows or what terrors I’ll find locked in the basement lol. I will be happy if this year just allows me to even have adventures with my favorite people. So, here’s to the world not ending and hopefully, us putting COVID to rest finally.