Kaylessi: It's Britney, Bitch

I fell down an enormous rabbit hole a few months ago when I discovered there were vinyl records for every one of Britney’s albums. I blame Danny for this because I was never into records before we started dating, but he says he never told me to research if Britney had colored vinyl records LOL. It turns out her music has been pressed, and they have been available at Urban Outfitters. Why didn’t anyone tell me this?!

Not only does Urban Outfitter have her records, but they have already released two different variants for the majority of her discography. Danny watched in horror as I had a complete meltdown, and began to scour the internet for all the albums that were no longer available on the website. I searched diligently through Amazon, eBay and Mercari for every album I was missing. I was hellbent on collecting all the Infinity Stones to achieve world domination. All this was triggered by my naive curiousity. I was curious as to whether my favorite childhood artists had modern vinyl records, especially if The Spice Girls had pink records (spoiler alert: they do NOT and it is a travesty). Well, here I am, 12 vinyl records and 8 cassettes later… I have achieved my mission.

I have loved Britney since 1999 when I caught her commercial promoting …Baby One More Time on television around the clock. The CD was gifted to me for my birthday in all its pink glory before she catapulted into a teenage popstar sensation. Soon enough, she was topping both billboard charts and TRL countdowns week after week. Britney has always been iconic to me. I’ve loved everything about her. Her essence, infectious smile, and sweet nature won me over when I watched her interviews. Every era of Britney had that one iconic music video, outfit, dance choreography, and VMA performance that is still memorable to this day.

Even through her hardships and battles, she still managed to put out bangers. I wish nothing, but peace and happiness for her. This conservatorship that Britney’s been chained to for the past 12 years has always made me so sad. You can blatantly see that Britney is a shell of the person we once knew, and love. She’s been robbed of any sense of freedom, and creative ability. The constant control, and abuse she’s endured at the hands of her so-called “family” is unfathomable. Britney has been nothing more than mere property to her father in his pursuit of money and power. She deserves to be free. Britney has done so much for us. She deserves to live her life the way she wants to. I hope one day soon she is set free.

I’ve listed my top three Britney songs for each of her albums. You’ll see that Femme Fatale and Circus are my two absolute favorite albums of hers, and it was especially hard to narrow down my top choices. My least favorite albums are Britney Jean and Glory. If Britney ever chooses to pursue music again, I hope she’s given creative freedom, and the chance to evolve as an artist. The songs from these last two albums are redundant and stale. They lack any spark or personality that Britney has been known for on her past LPs. I’m so tired of producers making her sing the same old love song over and over again. I’d love to hear something entirely new, and fresh from Britney when she gains her life back.

…Baby One More Time