All Dogs Go to Heaven

It’s been two weeks since my Luna Bear crossed the rainbow bridge. I’m heartbroken still. Going home this past weekend made it all too real. Every time I came home, she’d be laying on her mat across from the door and the first thing I’d do is give her belly rubs. Now, she’s just gone. There’s this strange emptiness in the house without her presence. Her water bowls, toys, treats, collars are all still there, but I can no longer call out “Luna” and see her coming down the hall. 

I knew deep down inside that it was coming, but I wasn’t ready to say goodbye just yet. She’s been struggling with health issues for a while, but it seemed to get particularly worst this past year. I tried to mentally prepare myself for the inevitable, but I think it’s impossible to not be devastated when you have to let your fur baby go. I’ve been dreading this day since we first got Luna. I’m glad to know I’m not the only pet owner who irrationally fears the lost of their animal every year of their life. Dogs have incredibly short lifespans, and it’s just not fair! I know it sounds crazy to others, but if you knew the love of a dog, you’d be terrified of saying goodbye to them too.

We spent 11 years together. I’m forever thankful for all those years I got with Luna. I’ll always cherish them. She changed me in so many ways. I never had a pet growing up as a kid. It wasn’t until I was in my mid-twenties that this chubby chocolate lab came into my life. I didn’t understand why people got so crazy over their pets until I had one of my own. Now, I get it completely. Luna wasn’t just a dog, she was our family. I can tell you with certainty that I loved Luna far more than many people in my life lol.

Having a pet has made me super sensitive when it comes to animals. Whenever I read about animals, especially dogs, being abused or killed now, a flood of emotions overcome me… anger, sadness, helplessness. I was never like this before. Luna unlocked a different kind of compassion and empathy in me. I see the world much differently now because of her. I believe Luna was meant to be in my life to show me unconditional love. She healed me in ways that people couldn’t. I’m a better person because of her.

I’m trying my best to keep it together while I grieve. It’s not fair how my whole world stopped, but yet everything and everyone around me kept going. It’s cruel that life goes on, and I’m expected to suppress my emotions because I have deadlines at work and I can’t be crying when I have meetings to be on camera for. My world was on fire and I couldn’t put it out just yet.

I know how to mask my emotions dangerous well though, and I’m no stranger to grief. I know it will be there when I am ready to feel it. It never leaves even when you desperately want it to. Its presence is something I have to accept because it’s never going away. As the chaos has shimmered down at work, I’ve finally had time to process how I’m feeling. Crying, music, and writing has always been my catharsis. It’s what helps me work through my emotions.

I miss my chubby so much. I’m going to miss Luna’s sassy attitude. The way she was such a diva and refused to pose for a picture. Those puppy dog eyes she always gave even though she was the most spoiled dog. The way she voiced her complaints when you weren’t paying attention to her. How she throw her empty bowl and pawed at it, wondering why no one was refilling it. I hope she’s getting all the Cheez-its in the world while she’s over the rainbow. She deserves it.

I’ll forever love my fuzzball. I hope she passed away peacefully, knowing how much she was loved. I‘ll never forget what she’s done for me. 🤎🤎🤎