I have to learn how to relinquish control. I can’t hold onto it with a death grip because it’s the only thing saving me from anxiety. In turn, having a bad day where everything goes wrong is going to give me anxiety anyway. I need to redirect my energy towards creating a new day for myself. I should have just decided to ditch the plan and decide on something fun like going out to the Alamo or a favorite spot to eat.
I aim to embrace change quickly and learn to pivot to another idea. My planning is a way for me to keep my anxiety in check. I usually spiral when it comes to surprises and last-minute decisions. Spontaneity… we don’t know her. But I have to realize that not everything will work out no matter how much I organize it; I’m not always in control, and sometimes, things will come up on short notice, and I will have to deal with it calmly.
I also have to stop being mean to Danny. 😆 Recently, I saw a meme on reels that said, “When you yell at your boyfriend, but he doesn’t yell at you or talk back, so you sit there realizing you’re just a monster.” I don’t know how or why he deals with me. I think he’s a saint for putting up with me when I’m spiraling because of anxiety and stubbornness or I just have an attitude.
Also, those memes that are like “me calling my boyfriend to tell him that I'm hungry, my legs hurt, I’m cold, I miss him, I want a hug, I'm the best girl he’ll ever meet, nine days ago he hurt my feelings, and that I want ice cream but only if he eats with me”… they’re so Kayla coded. Are we all this unhinged, and our partners smile and nod at the chaos? How do you rein in the craziness? Asking for a friend. 😆
Post a Comment