Everything is Blue 🩵💙

Halsey really is that bitch. She came out with just herself and her band. No backup singers, no dancers, no outfit changes. Just her and the stage. What made it funny was that I’d been dying to see her live after all the fomo from people who went to her shows last year. That tour had all the glitz and glam… sets, costumes, dancers. Even Halsey called it the greatest pride of her career, like you just had to be there. So yeah. Thanks, girl, for twisting the knife even deeper.

But her pure, unadulterated, genuine self was up on that stage. And that’s what I’m used to. Artists stepping out with their instruments and letting their souls bleed out on stage. Sure, some bands have more elaborate stage designs these days, but the passion is still the same.

She said she was really there for the people who desperately needed it, not just the ones who loved Badlands once upon a time, and thought it’d be a fun night. And I was like… girl. How did you know? What’s wild is I almost didn’t even buy these tickets. I don’t know why, but I’m weirdly apprehensive about going to non-metal shows. This was only my second one ever. The first was Kesha. There was deep lore in me seeing Kesha live during my college years. Still… I don’t know. Non-metal shows usually don’t speak to my soul like that. But something was tugging at my heartstrings, telling me to go. Like, how long have you been listening to Halsey, girl? Go see her. For real.

As tears filled my eyes when she stepped onstage and started singing “Gasoline,” I knew I had been so right to be there. I was pulled straight back to that girl in 2016, with Badlands on constant rotation. It was the soundtrack to my late twenties, when I was obsessed with conventions, dressing in strange costumes, and trying to figure myself out. I don’t know why I let Badlands slip away from me all these years. Every time I go back and listen now, I am reminded of how perfect this album really was. Now, I'm even more thankful to have been in the crowd for the 10th-anniversary tour for this beloved record.

I was super lucky this time around. We got front row seats on the second balcony of the theater. Non-metal shows scare me because these types of fans are more… unhinged. I mean, I read on Reddit that people were lining up the night before in January frost. And since balcony seats at the Hammerstein Ballroom were first-come, first-served, I was nervous. When we arrived a little before six, the line was SO long. Way longer than when I arrived at the same time for the Spiritbox show last year, which was at the same venue. But thankfully, we timed it right and ended up with great seats.

That said, I really feel like metal fans have better concert etiquette. Almost no one stood on the balconies at the Spiritbox show. The general consensus seemed to be that if you wanted to stand, you’d be on the floor. Here, though, most people stood, which made me even more grateful to be in the front, being the shortie that I am. At the beginning of the show, some people decided they were just going to stand right in front of us near the balcony railing. Thankfully, security cleared everyone away. I hate inconsiderate people. I sacrificed a PTO day to get there early and secure a seat so I could actually see. Not my problem if you showed up late and had to endure a shitty spot or view. But I digress.

They gave us these cute 3-D glasses, and it was fun trying to guess which song they’d be for. Lo and behold, it was “Lonely Is the Muse.” That song has quickly become my favorite Halsey track and absolute proof that she needs to record a heavier album. I mean, she gave us this song and a collaboration with Amy Lee. Please, if you ever loved me, manifest this for me.

Hearing it live was a spiritual experience. She also played other favorites like “Without Me” (a ROCK version), “Nightmare,” “Control,” “Colors,” and “New Americana.” I’ll admit I’ve never really been a fan of her super commercial songs. I’ve been much more drawn to her last two albums. Her collaboration with Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross was pure perfection, and I really hope she continues down this path, regardless of what her record label says about her “flopping.” She's not. She's still a Queen.

Halsey always stood out to me. She was different. Poetic and real, with an undercurrent of chaos. Even now, she shows up without armor. Her truth isn’t polished or packaged. It’s lived in. It’s scarred. There’s something disarming about Halsey. She doesn’t make herself smaller just to make others more comfortable. She’s messy, thoughtful, flawed, and sincere. Unfiltered. Unedited. Human.

I told Danny she was for the alternative and metal girlies because, as a seasoned metalhead, you can just feel that inner rage. Something about her screams rock chick at heart. And then she told us that one of the genres that shaped her into who she is today was emo and punk music. Girl, I knew it.

She brought out Taking Back Sunday frontman Adam Lazzara as a surprise guest to perform their classic “Cute Without the ‘E’ (Cut from the Team).” I’ll admit, I never had an emo phase. I was always a nu-metal kid, so I don’t really know their songs. But seeing her live out her dream of performing with the singer she grew up listening to was incredible. You could feel her excitement and joy radiating from the stage.

She said she wouldn’t exist without Taking Back Sunday. I completely understand because that is exactly how I feel about Korn. Even after all these years, she still remembers what it is like to be a fan. She needs this outlet to get through life, and it makes perfect sense why she said what she did earlier. She understands us. She gets it, and it was clear in every moment of her set.

She was on stage from 8:30 to 11:00 pm with no openers. She performed the entire Badlands album. She even worried about being cut off, which just shows how much she cares about connecting with us. She would have been on stage longer if they had let her. She even asked the crowd what songs to play during the encore. I mean, I just love her.

In those two and a half hours, she was healing me.

For the first time in a long time, I felt remnants of happiness. I felt brave enough to face the world again after being in the dark for so long. I always knew music would save me, and I’m so glad it was Halsey.

Concerts in January are rare, and I think it was perfect to push me out of my comfort zone and celebrate my birthday a little. I don’t care what anyone says. I’m convinced she came for my birthday and started my sad year on a brighter note.

I also have to give a big shout-out to Danny. When I say “we,” I really mean that I dragged him to see Halsey with me. I’m so appreciative of him for coming to shows and supporting artists live, even when he doesn’t listen to them himself. 

Here's to the many concerts I have lined up for this year because god, do I need it!

Setlist:
1. Gasoline
2. Castle
3. Control
4. Bells in Santa Fe
5. Drive
6. Coming Down
7. You should be sad
8. The Lighthouse
9. Strange Love
10. Haunting
11. New Americana
12. Huuricane
13. Dog Years
14. Nightmare
15. Hold me down
16. Garden
17. The Mother We Share (CHVRCHES cover with Lauren Mayberry)
18. Ghost
19. Roman Holiday
20. Closer (The Chainsmokers cover)(Rock version)
21. Ego
22. Colors pt. II
23. Colors
24. Ashley
25. People disappear here
26. Without Me (Rock version)
27. Lonely is the Muse
28. Young God

Encore: 

29. Trouble (Acoustic)
30. Cute Without the ‘E’ (Cut From the Team) (Taking Back Sunday cover with Adam Lazzara)
31. Experiment on Me
32. Bad at Love
33. Is There Somewhere